The Magical Land of Touches for Free

If I won the biggest prize for extreme fur sports and got to pick where I’d want to go to after, I would pick the “Magical Land of Touches for Free.”  My humans use the strange term “vet” which sounds like some large snake monster, but I assure you, the Land of Touches for Free is fantabulous.   When I go to the Land of Touches for Free, we wait in the pee anywhere room, for what seems like forever. But it’s really cool because I get to watch the door, willing it to open and deliver me the free touches and treats, and then eventually it does!

Open. Open. Open.

When it opens, in will pop some really nice human who acts like they’ve been waiting to touch me their whole life.  Then they give me treats, as if I need motivation to like them.   Sometimes I even get to stay all day.  I won’t tell you what happens in the back room because it’s a secret, and they said if I tell I can’t come back.

Today we got to go the the Magical Land of Touches for Free because Lacie has been lazy.  She doesn’t get up as fast as me to bark at people outside, and I always beat her to the door when our humans come home.  I think it’s because I’m just too fast for her.  But mom thinks she’s sick.  The crazy thing is, Lacie is super afraid the the Magical Land of Touches for Free.  Maybe she also thinks the word “vet” is some scary snake monster.  She is a really strange fur toy I tell you.  She even tried to hide in my dad’s lap when they were touching her today at the Magical Land.   What?!?  Hide from touches?  Blasphemy!

My mom always says Lacie is smarter than me, and that I’m a “simple” dog.  But I’m not the one turning down free massages and fun time.   Sometimes I think to myself, “she’s the dumbest smart dog I’ve ever met.”   In the end, the lady doctor from the Magical Land couldn’t find anything wrong with Lacie, so we’ll have to come back in a few weeks.   Hurray!  😀


2 responses to this post.

  1. […] out the door.  WITHOUT ME!  I don’t know where they’re going (if it’s the Magical Land of Touches for Free I may just explode), but there is no reason why I need to be left here.  […]


  2. […] They pick up my poop so I don’t step in it and get it all over my bed.  They take me to the Magical Land of Touches for Free to keep me healthy.  They even buy special chew treats to keep my teeth clean.  Lacie and I are […]


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