Everyone needs a fort

Hello interweb humans.

Recently it has come to my attention that Lacie is getting more pets than I am.  I think because she’s been acting lazy.  And she has a tail.  I can’t compete with the tail!  Sometimes my mom leaves enough fur when she trims me to give me a flag to wave.  But I don’t have a big bushy tail like Lacie.  Lacie just uses that tail to thump the floor or the couch or the wall, and the humans run over to pet her.  What gives?  Can’t you see my curly flowing ears and wiggly rear end?

To combat this tail nonsense, I’ve decided to use my secret weapon… malleability.  You see, I am made of what my mom says is doggy rubber.  I can bend and contort into all sorts of cuddly positions.  And Lacie can’t.  She’s built for speed, not for cuddling.  So if I can just find a way to showcase how malleable I am, my humans will be powerless to resist.  Enter the fort.

Access limited to dogs with extreme cuddle powers

You see, my mom has this pile of pillows on the bed that she uses to keep me guessing which one she actually sleeps on.  She has some kind of spasm when I lay on her pillow.  Something about dirt.  I dunno.  But I figured if I could use this pile of pillows to make a fort, and then using my malleable skillz, put myself in the fort and use cuddle ray eyes to attract the humans, I could keep them touching me all the time, instead of Lacie.  And it worked!!  The humans love it.  Every time I jump in my fort, I hear “awww… Lola’s in her fort again.”  It turns the whole bed into a black hole of cuddles.  Once one human comes over, they are powerless to resist.  And then they’ll yell to the other human to come save them, which entraps the second human too.  Perrrrfect.

So, humans out there in interweb space… if you are feeling lonely, or sad, or whatever emotions you silly humans have that dogs are immune to, please build yourself a fort.  It will solve all your problems.  And if it doesn’t, just come visit mine.

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One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Lola's dad on April 20, 2011 at 5:13 pm

    I agree with Lola on the tail issue. We’ll look into regenerative medicine.

    Reply

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